Evolution of child raising as evidenced by the progression of parental reactions to Baby throwing up during the night. Firstborn: Baby throws up in basinet. Parents know this because they have been obsessively watching Baby on the video monitor. They have not slept since Baby was born. They immediately call the pediatrician’s after-hours call center. […]
Here is a handy guide for moms of boys denoting little boys’ complex thought process regarding hygiene and cleanliness. Situation 1: Is peeing all over the bathroom acceptable? Yes. The world is my toilet. Be happy I peed indoors AND in the same room as the toilet. Situation 2: Should I eat my boogers? Of […]
Week 12 How you are feeling: Duh. Your friend Scott has the audacity to say one of those obnoxious pregnancy comments. Scott, father of four. Saying the words. Scott is your friend. Scott is asking if you know how this happens. You: “You know what, Scott? I have already heard that one about ten times […]
Week 10 How you are feeling: Like a delicate flower. You know, the kind that wretches, wets itself, and breaks wind as it walks. Pretty pretty flower. A fun change you are noticing this week is that you are no longer just the mild mannered momma who teaches Sunday school and shops at Costco. Nope. […]
Week 9 How you are feeling: Awful. This week your baby is no longer considered an “embryo” and is now referred to as a “fetus”. It is important to note that such terminology will mean nothing to your children who refer to the baby as “the reason mom is puking again” or “why mom looks […]
Week 8 How you are feeling: Like death, which is remarkable considering you are carrying a life. The thought of food makes you barf, and so does the absence of food. Your family trembles with fear every time you announce, “dinner is ready!” Their fear is understandable because food created by […]
The firefighter and I volunteered to teach Sunday School to our four year old and his class this year. I think we have done a pretty good job. Tried to come up with activities that fit the lesson and really bonded with these kiddos. …well… Maybe we have become too comfortable. The firefighter and our […]
Week 7 How you are feeling: According to whattoexpect.com “While your baby is the size of a blueberry, your breasts probably look more like melons” this week. Oh absolutely. Shut up, Whattoexpect.com! You don’t know me. Or my life. Or post-nursing-multiple-babies pregnancy boobies. Melons… Ha! More like melon balls flopping awkwardly around in tube socks. […]
Week 6 How you are feeling: Hello, nausea! Remember the giant horse pill they call a prenatal vitamin? Yeah, that sucker is going to try to kill you slowly, as it gets lodged in your gag reflex area and you struggle to remember the point of the dang thing, if it really is so important […]
Week 5 How you are feeling: Tender nips, especially if the baby you are still breastfeeding is teething. Lil punkin’ is just asking to be weaned. You also increasingly notice your heightened sense of smell. Like, to the point where you can tell your husband everything he ate that day because you can smell it […]
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