Week 10 of What to Expect When You Are Expecting, Again

Week 10
How you are feeling: Like a delicate flower. You know, the kind that wretches, wets itself, and breaks wind as it walks. Pretty pretty flower.
A fun change you are noticing this week is that you are no longer just the mild mannered momma who teaches Sunday school and shops at Costco. Nope. You have a secret and it is not the baby.
Mommy has a potty mouth.
Here you are, this matronly mother of multiples, carrying another precious baby and you find yourself using ALL THE WORDS. Your internal dialogue is peppered with vocabulary of the four letter variety. It’s not your fault. It is the combination of hormonal changes and dumb people boldly going forth with their words. For instance, when a stranger looks at your already swollen tummy and begins a conversation with you about how darling you look pregnant and then upon hearing you are only 10 weeks she says with an unflattering amount of shock, “You look like THAT and you are HOW FAR???”
Your inner hulk begins to turn green as your muscles flex themselves right out of your pastel maternity blouse and you snarl, “I am early enough that I have enough hormones coursing through my veins that I can crush you with my bare hands, but not so far that I am physically incapable of carrying it out.”
The mild mannered part of you instead responds with a delicate blush and a lilt of laughter saying, “This is my fifth baby.”
Make no mistake, that response is the lie. The truest expression of your feelings is the hulk out. Embrace it and then send me pictures of the aftermath.

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One thought on “Week 10 of What to Expect When You Are Expecting, Again

  1. You never cease to amaze me and “make my day”! Your writing is great! Please don’t ever stop, it’s mommys like you that help the other mommy like me feel like what’s going on is “normal”.

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