Aww ‘tis the season. You can smell it in the air, cinnamon and fireplaces. You can see it in the cherubic rosy cheeks of children and the sparkle in their dancing eyes. You can hear it in the cursing and grunting of our mail carrier as he attempts to shove a stack of darling embellished […]
Evolution of child raising as evidenced by the progression of parental reactions to Baby throwing up during the night. Firstborn: Baby throws up in basinet. Parents know this because they have been obsessively watching Baby on the video monitor. They have not slept since Baby was born. They immediately call the pediatrician’s after-hours call center. […]
Here is a handy guide for moms of boys denoting little boys’ complex thought process regarding hygiene and cleanliness. Situation 1: Is peeing all over the bathroom acceptable? Yes. The world is my toilet. Be happy I peed indoors AND in the same room as the toilet. Situation 2: Should I eat my boogers? Of […]
Week 12 How you are feeling: Duh. Your friend Scott has the audacity to say one of those obnoxious pregnancy comments. Scott, father of four. Saying the words. Scott is your friend. Scott is asking if you know how this happens. You: “You know what, Scott? I have already heard that one about ten times […]
Week 11 How you are feeling: Well, still crappy. Headaches, all the puking, incontinence, walking farts, tender nips etc… Gah. And then people want to talk to you. And they also want to share the very funny things they have heard on sitcoms and read on the internets of awesome things that they should say […]
Week 10 How you are feeling: Like a delicate flower. You know, the kind that wretches, wets itself, and breaks wind as it walks. Pretty pretty flower. A fun change you are noticing this week is that you are no longer just the mild mannered momma who teaches Sunday school and shops at Costco. Nope. […]
Week 9 How you are feeling: Awful. This week your baby is no longer considered an “embryo” and is now referred to as a “fetus”. It is important to note that such terminology will mean nothing to your children who refer to the baby as “the reason mom is puking again” or “why mom looks […]
Week 8 How you are feeling: Like death, which is remarkable considering you are carrying a life. The thought of food makes you barf, and so does the absence of food. Your family trembles with fear every time you announce, “dinner is ready!” Their fear is understandable because food created by […]
The firefighter and I volunteered to teach Sunday School to our four year old and his class this year. I think we have done a pretty good job. Tried to come up with activities that fit the lesson and really bonded with these kiddos. …well… Maybe we have become too comfortable. The firefighter and our […]
Week 7 How you are feeling: According to whattoexpect.com “While your baby is the size of a blueberry, your breasts probably look more like melons” this week. Oh absolutely. Shut up, Whattoexpect.com! You don’t know me. Or my life. Or post-nursing-multiple-babies pregnancy boobies. Melons… Ha! More like melon balls flopping awkwardly around in tube socks. […]
poopsandgiggles 