This week is super emosh.

If this is your first pregnancy it may not have crossed your mind yet that you could be pregnant. If this is your second pregnancy you might have a tingling sense that you might want to grab a test the next time you are at the grocery store. If this is your third+ pregnancy you started retaining water 24 hours after conception. This gives you pause until you remember that you ate an entire bag of Lays potato chips the day before because your kiddos were being so ornery that you literally never had a moment to eat an actual meal.

Later in this week, if you are breastfeeding, you notice that your baby is showing signs of dissatisfaction with the meal you have provided (your boobs). Your once affectionate baby, who is not capable of articulating feelings yet, is showing displeasure by hitting, scratching, pinching and oh-for-the-love-of-suddenly-tender-nipples BITING. Now you begin to wonder if the elusive Aunt Flo may be returning to your life. You can’t be sure as you have only seen her twice since 2009 due to pregnancy, nursing, pregnancy, nursing, pregnancy etc…

You toy with the idea that you are about to start your period, but you already know you need to buy a test. This is not like the first or second time when you and your husband buy a test whilst holding hands and you tinkle on the stick while he waits outside the bathroom door and you squeal, “We’re pregnant!!!”

This time you grab a test at Target since you are already there buying a cart load of toilet paper, diapers, and Clorox wipes while your four small children orbit you and the grocery cart and the cashier looks at you and says, “um…good luck??”

On the drive home you realize this fifth child you are pretty sure you are carrying is going to ensure you will never again jump on a trampoline. Not because you are physically incapable of jumping, but your bladder control has become more precarious with each pregnancy and this one is sure to end it completely. There are surgical options to fix this issue, but let’s be honest, as you survey the damage done to your body post partum, do you really want to spend all that money making sure you don’t pee pee everytime you sneeze ooooooor would you like to have your breasts lifted and sewn back to the place they were originally positioned before you started making people?

Once you unload the car of kids and groceries, put everything away and make everyone a snack, you sneak off to the bathroom and take the test. It is super faint, but it is positive. You are pregnant. Again.

You happy and ugly cry simultaneously, throw up, and call your husband.

Husbands have two reactions in their manly emotional arsenal to this kind of news: shock or elation. You need to mentally prepare for their shock, and recognize it is not a reflection of their feelings toward you or the child you made in love, but their fix-it-provider mentality kicking in over-drive. Try to remember you are thankful for that. Or he may surprise you with a joy that is tangible and infectious. 🙂

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Dear reader,

I recognize this week’s post wasn’t as much fun, but it aligns with the feelings that week brought. So.Many.Feelings. I promise to make you giggle more later.

Hugs and Giggles,

Amber Park