What I want to eat right now is a chocolate chip cookie slathered with cream cheese icing, dipped in milk, with a red velvet cupcake chaser.

Instead, I’m over here noshing on a handful of grapes with a big ol glass of water.

As far as diets go, giving up cupcakes was me at my most dieting extreme. I feared getting the diabetes. Then our lil girly started having some, ahem, intestinal issues. We narrowed the issue down to an allergy. To dairy. My doctor suggested I put her on formula, but I decided to just change my diet. Just. Turns out soy and dairy are literally my bread and butter. I have lost 7 pounds in two weeks. Worst-most-deprived (also, effective) diet, ever. Amelia is all better though.

Sidebar: Oh cheese, there are not enough words to describe the vast emptiness I feel without you by my thigh, er, side.

Whoever said, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” is a different kind of human than me. Like a Heidi Klum sub species. One of those weirdos who manages to look even better after having tiny humans exit their body.

Moving on…

K, so (<—oh my, now I am thinking about queso…my mind wanders…Chuy’s has gooooood queso. Mmmmm… melty cheese.) we are hosting Christmas for my family at our house and my creative juices are flowing. And by “creative juices,” I mean searches on Pinterest. I have decided overnight that I am a crafty person, by golly, and I have the boards and pins to prove it. I have a limited budget, but Pinterest has given me the knowledge that armed with a glue gun and a hammer, there is no stopping this force of decor.

I saw a pile of pallets the other day and lost all sense of self and asked the elderly owner if he needed them all. (I do not even know what I would make with them, I just have a board full of projects using Pallets). He scratched his head and said yes, and told me I was not the first woman to ask. Then I took our kiddos to our church parking lot to gather small acorns. Then we went to our chiropractor’s office to gather larger acorns. (You would not believe the elation that ensued when we found some bonus pinecones.) Next, we went stick hunting. Zeke is a very discerning stick hunter, capable of finding sticks with gnarly branches and interesting weather patterns. Connor has no sense when it comes to stick gathering. He picks up all sticks without considering how it will look spray painted in a vase. Such a shame.

My hope is that our home will have a welcoming, rustic, holiday type-vibe. Not a “Hey, my kids and I went for a walk and found a bunch of crap and stuck it in mason jars!” type-vibe.

Ode to Pizza

Oft whence the firefighter has left this home

to weary battle blazes, and give aid to the needy,

my children bestowed upon me the name “awesome”

whence I mentioned your name. All fighting ceased,

and goodwill befell upon the brothers.

My little cherubs would doe-eyed give thanks for your

sustenance, and silence would ensue as their bellies filled.

Pizza, thy power and significance is great,

I know it full well in the wake of thy absence.