Since this is a humorous blog about raising a family and because I have two kids in diapers I am sure you were thinking this would be a funny post about poop. It’s not. This is about metaphorical poop, the kind we sling at each other as if we were apes in zoo.
I am not a confrontational person, but I recognize I have a voice and right now I would like to share. Yahoo had an article titled “What a Mother of 7 Knows That You Don’t”. I love advice from seasoned mommies. I liked what this mom had to say, but then I made the disheartening mistake of reading the comments section.
So much hate. Most of the comments were so unbelievably ugly and selfish. This mom, with her sensible approach to raising her big family, was condemned for “having kids for the tax write off,” vilified for being an “uneducated (ugly word) who is just getting welfare so she can drink and use drugs and don’t have to work,” (this woman and her family are not on welfare) judged for “having all those babies so she can feel good about herself.” So many people found her “just plain disgusting” and many filthy comments were made about how to prevent having so many children.
What the what?
When we have found ourselves pregnant, my husband and I have rejoiced at the blessing of a new person to love and cherish in our family. We are so excited wondering if this baby will be a boy or a girl. We muse over how our new little love will see the world. We are fascinated as we watch our baby grow in my belly and truly amazed at the miracle of birth. We ponder and pray as we ready ourselves and our children for our new addition. Never have we high-fived each other cheering, “Awesome! Another tax write-off!” It grieves my heart knowing there are people who look at our family with disgust, seeing dollar signs in the faces of my children. And in case there are some uninitiated out there reading this: raising a family costs a heck of a lot more than any tax-write off. A cost measured in more than just dollars, but also in patience, sacrifice and love.
When we have discovered we are expecting again, we have never scratched our heads thinking “How ever did this happen…?” I ache knowing people look at my wonderful husband and I, thinking such repulsive thoughts about our family planning. And not just a few people. Most of the commenters purposely clicked on an article giving parenting advice to hatefully condemn this woman for having multiple children. My beloved Grannie Annie had seven children and she was such a beautiful woman full of wisdom, wit, patience, grace and love. One of my mommy heroes has 6 kids and amazes me constantly with her selflessness and thoughtful parenting. I do not understand why a big family causes people to react with disgust…?
I mean, sure, there are some pretty foul things that happen in a family. For instance, by the end of my pregnancies I give up on trying to bend over and just stop shaving my legs. That can get pretty gross. On occasion, I don’t get an opportunity for a shower, so I just wipe myself down with baby wipes, put on deodorant and call it good. I, too, find that pretty nasty. And we have definitely had life changing explosive diaper situations. Oh and vomit. So much random, unexpected vomit.
We are not selfish nor are we stupid. We are a family. Willing to grow. Capable of weathering storms. Eager to greet each new day and challenge.
And sometimes we are kinda gross.
You guys are among the best parents I know! Putting God first in your family changes everything. I’m proud to know you all as friends and rejoice with you at each new addition to your loving family! Web comments are all but worthless (which is ironic since I’m commenting), but keep focused on the text that matters most and you guys will continue to be great!!
Great job Amber!
Isn’t it sad that one of the reasons I hold off on considering another baby is because of what people will think? But I look at your sweet family and it definitely makes me want a third (but a girl this time ;).