Red Velvet fat free yogurt.

This is an OUTRAGE and obviously politically fueled.  I’ll tell you what is going on, the yogurt companies are looking at woman indulging in luscious desserts even when not pregnant, and are trying to FORCE us to Heidi Klum that baby weight away. Oh sure, they candy coat it saying they want to offer us tasty, healthier alternatives.  But I know their ulterior motive is to make us all super-model skinny. This farce cannot be allowed to stand!

Yogurt is to Cupcake

as Pepsi is to Coke

or

as Water is to Chocolate.

In honor of fighting this injustice from the undeniably bigoted yogurt company I say we unite, put down those spoons and yogurt cups and eat a cupcake. Once the yogurt slinging and frosting subsides, we the cupcake eaters will be the last ones standing.

Because we are denser.

…

Wait, not denser, heavier.

…more substantial…?

Yes!

Because we, the cupcake eaters, have more substance!